“You’re so eccentric, Jenn” Words I’ve heard all my life.
Here’s a bit of back story. . .
I was diagnosed as manic depressive when I was seventeen, and promptly told ‘There was nothing they could do for me, it was all in my head’, and that if I wasn’t careful, I’d be locked up.‘ Yes, the same doctor who made the diagnosis said that to me. Our words often have long term consequences, and in this case, I avoided doctors (unless it was an emergency) until I was thirty seven. The reason seemed obvious to me, and I certainly never told anyone about the original diagnosis. I am grateful to my friend Janni, a former nurse, who convinced me to seek help. Manic depression is now called bi-polar disorder, and I found a treatment that works for me. It’s been ten years, and I say ‘here’s to better living through chemistry‘.
Why did I give you back story? It’s simple. I needed to set the stage, so you know that my life has always been odd, and my perceptions, ‘eccentric‘. I have a vivid imagination, and I’ve fobbed a lot of things, and behaviours off under the guise of being an artist. Do I lie? No. Sometimes the size of the fish grows a few inches in the telling of the tale, but it never strays from its species. This brings me to the subject of Tetrachromacy, and my vivid imagination.
I went in for an HRT a few months ago, after my eye doctor discovered that my optic nerves are three times larger than normal. I asked what might of caused it, and he wasn’t sure. “Genetics most likely, certainly not disease. They’re healthy, and well fed by arteries.” I asked if that would play with my vision.
“Probably, somehow.” I love definitive answers, especially when they’re delivered with a smile.
My visual perception of colour is something I’ve wondered about for years. I credited the bright jewel tones, and subtle shifts in light (it is different, depending on where you are in the world), with having spent my early years in the tropics. I thought that I’d just set my internal colour palette there. . . or it had to do with my odd brain chemistry. It would seem not. These women describe how I see the world, rather well. It appears that it’s physical, and there’s actually a name for it.
I’ll look into this more, at my next appointment.