Current Score: Distraction 2, Author 2
Official ‘over-time’ has been extended until the end of the summer.
Victory Two – Paintings and sculpture begun – I’ll post images when they’re complete.
The realm of the writer is under attack. . .
There is a new menace lurking the remote regions of my realm, and it’s begun exposing itself to me when I come within range. It’s forced me to make tactical retreats, time and time again. . . and it has reclaimed territory hard won in previous conflicts. I have attended nocturnal medicine cabinet meetings, demanding answers to this problem, but sadly these only generate the generic warnings about operating heavy machinery, and put me to sleep. . .
I need more intel, and ‘a plan’. . .
Hour Two. . .
Their weapons appear to be of domestic origin. . . I have found several shipping pods scattered on the steps outside.
Hour Four. . .
Sources tell me, they’re here to help the elements of ‘Distraction’ to overthrow the ‘writer overlord’. They shall fail. . .
My campaign will be simple. I’ll lurk, and then strike with surgical precision and obliterate the menace. . . I have the chemical weapons stored under my sink *checks and notices empty bottles, remembers last campaign*. What’s this? I can hear them, they. . . they’re mocking me – scratchy laughter is coming from behind the fridge, and from the vents that run under the house.
They knew about this. . .
Hour Seven. . .
I have been trapped at my laptop for hours, pretending to idly surf the internet in search of odd, yet naughty things. Word of an assassination plot reached my ears earlier, and I’m unwilling to get in range of the carpet. They know my bladder well, this enemy; beyond the carpet lies the bathroom. . . but I’ll fool them. . . I’ll just sit on the chair, typing this blog and let them come to me!
Twenty Minutes Ago. . .
They were too confident . . . A small scout group was captured when they got too close, and is now being held at an undisclosed location on my deck. After a humanely conducted discussion (that also involved a large plastic bag and broom), they provided me with a place to start – the dust bunnies. . . They confirmed that I was right; a new terrorist organization had claimed my domicile as their HQ. They call themselves ‘Allergen-Iunctus‘. I’m not sure who hired them. . . or even how they got in. They wouldn’t have passed the inspection at the door if I was on duty *looks over at cat – shakes head*. I suspect that I’ll soon see some familiar entities among them; those who escaped ‘Operation Cleanse’ after the last ‘Laundry Rebellion’. . . I’m still missing three socks and a bra.
Time to grab those remaining chemical weapons, and a mop called ‘exterminati’, and get down to it.
Disclaimer: Hello various agencies that look for key words and phrases in our blogs, e-mails, skype chats, fb pass-along memes. . . I would like to state for the record that this blog entry is intended to be read with a sense of humour.